Cereal's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[control the life of AdamZ]

A late-night sketch running way too long

You know those movies where if you've seen the trailer, you've seen all the good parts? I felt that way while watching this film. I don't typically expect much from crappy spoof movies, but I at least expect them to try. This came off as too much of a bad Saturday Night Live or Mad TV sketch that runs on way too long. A number of SNL's movies have felt that way, but really.... Why can't they ever pick_good_ "two of the six writers from Scary Movie"? I feel like I've seen this brand of dumb humor a million times before, albeit much better presented. I don't mind abstract references that would seemingly change the storyline (the four protagonists becoming part of Wonka's candy, but seconds later reverting to normal, for example), but these "Family Guy" style cutaways were so poorly done, it almost made me want to leave. I felt genuinely ripped off, longing for satires like Spy Hard, Last Action Hero, and Spaceballs. A friend and I debated whether this film or Scary Movie 4 was worse. We agreed it was a tie.
The first two Scary Movies were funny because they didn't let the flat parts slow them down. Scary Movie 2 contained a number of bad jokes, but it was okay because the filmmakers had a general idea of where they wanted to take the "story", and at least made a concentrated effort to tone down the absurdist humor in places where it wasn't needed. Epic Movie temporarily halts the predictable, unfunny jokes close to the end of the film, when Kal Penn (who made two Harold and Kumar references, also falling quite flat, even amongst the largely tweenage audience) spells out the film's moral--a sappy and poorly placed monologue on the importance of family. The repetitive use of the word "Bitch" to refer to the antagonist, played by Jennifer Coolidge ("Stiffler's mother" in American Pie, a point also mentioned) got tiring. I will admit there were a few laugh-worthy moments, notably in the name of Jack Sparrow's parody, Jack Swallows. The actors were all fairly devoid of talent (especially that kid from the MySpace movie, playing Ashton Kutcher), and the directing seemed nonexistent.

Seeing the trailer is a bit of a spoiler as well, as you can tell when certain parts are coming up, effectively ruining the humor. Plus, the trailer has all the reasonably funny moments. It feels as if they directed the rest of the film as merely filler between the points showcased in the preview. I'm honestly not sure whether this review is in fact spoiling anything, because the trailer does a pretty good job of that on its own. My recommendation: don't see it in theaters. Don't rent it. Don't even watch it on TV when nothing else is on. Forget it was even made. Trust me, you're not missing anything.

Adam-Z responds:

wat

[V-tech Rampage]

­­­­­

I have to commemorate you on this, you have all the facts down, and pretty much every comment in this flash is relevant to something the shooter said. this is an absolute gem of a flash. Outstanding details, a great adaptation of a real life event. This flash works both as an out-and-out comedy but also as a high paced action flash and also manages to showcase the flash talents of PiGPEN . Sadly this will never get the recognition it deserves, for the simple fact that the pussy masses will never accept anything that is contrary to what they've been told is right. Something like this always stands out from the crowd but gets low scores and reviews from little kids insulting the creator. Also I'd like to comment on your authors comment "ATTENTION PEOPLE LOOKING FOR WHISTLE POINTS: Leave the reviews of this game alone!" I know what you mean, it's annoying when reviews are deleted, especially funny ones, Almost wish there was an option to protect the reviews on your flash. Anyway great flash,

PiGPEN responds:

I usually only respond when i have something funny to say but...
thank you.

[DS Art Inspiration Tut.]

I make good art i3wedficj

Not that bad of a tutorial at all. It has good information in it for people trying to make artwork with such things in them. The graphics were nice, , and I liked the color scheme.
The flashed images were cool, and the music added to the abstract
Well, overall you did a pretty smooth job on animating this dude both in his walking and the talking. The clip was kind of funny too.
It's just a test, so what can I really say? It's very very short and is basically just a show of your graphics, which I'm not a fan of people doing. If you are going to make a full movie with this, it will probably turn out good, but this is just boring.
This was absolutely a very fun simulation game. I found it amazing the amount of reality there was in the game. You not only had to plan what to plant and how to spend your money, but also had to watch the health of the family members. A very addicting game to play and very hard to master, but still rather fun.
The icons and such were really small in the upper left corner. I had a hard time reading some of the text there. It would be nice if you could make that a little better.

IceDragon64 responds:

OK. I am going to assume that only the first sentence was menant for me. My best guess is that you somehow put some cut and paste chunks in this review or something went crazy on NG. I dont understand the headline-i3wedficj? Do PM me if you have any further thoughts on this submission.

[Contract Stick Killer]

192930930239303930202002038203 0292039202030302038

A quick short movie - done in a classic vain of the stick fight! The key thing about this movie is the awesome camera movements featured in this short little run. They are so energetic and move constantly but do not overdue it. It's a short classic stick fight animation done quite well. I enjoyed the music loop as it fit in well with the movie and made it seem to go buy all that much faster. In future work, maybe the length could be elongated - it does not have to have an excess amount of plot, but maybe just more action and a more climatic ending. Great file size! Keep up the great work.

picaxis-media responds:

thanks!
greatly appreciated :)

[[R3R] Defense v.2]

Nice use of action script

It was nice, the graphics and animation ran smoothly, although the sound did overlap, and the enemies continued to come from the same place, it would be easy to just set the mouse there and kill a shit load of people.First off, graphics. This is definitely the best aspect of the flash, because let’s face it, the flash is based around your graphics isn’t it, I don't know im gay? It’s really a good job that the graphics are nothing short of amazing in this test, because the graphics just about compensates it a bit, and if this wasn’t the case the score would be even lower than it already is. Anyway, because it emphasised and showed off just how good your skills are and it gave the graphics an ‘angle’. At first I thought this was just a preloader, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when you actually animated the tank and made it fire a shot! I loved the way the screen suddenly zoomed out a little and this action you did have was extremely fast-paced; literally a second after clicking ‘play’ the “Fire” was yelled and the tank fired a missile. The animation was excellent and moved along with such fluency, you really gave the graphics a life-like feel to them, and I feel that this is the most realistic you can get in any flash; such as the way when the tank fired the shot the turret budged out for a split second, and the force caused the top half of the tank to lean down a little. The same goes for the second part of the flash when you click the “Shoot!!!” button to make the man fire his gun. Admittedly the character alone looked pretty amazing, again in 3D and not just facing towards you but horizontally at an angle. I’m not sure why, but objects placed at an angle always have an impressive impact on me, wish had more cereal is gay characters, because it just emphasises your 3D rendering abilities even more so, and makes the flash look a little more dramatic. The character looked great as he looked a little like someone from “Half-Life”, but again it was the animation that really did it for me. What say I say? WOW! I loved the way the character was stood in the dark almost like a ‘silhouette’, because when he shot the gun the sudden lighting effect was breathtaking a section of the front of the character lit up realistically, I noticed you focused most on the face which is clever because this is the case in real life. Not only this, but you made the man’s shoulders hunch when shooting and the gun moved up for a split second which always seems to happen when someone fires a gun. The little laser from the gun was a nice little addition too, and like everything else you moved this part of the flash along effectively and fluently.
Next, sound. Not a lot to say here, as there was a lack of sound. Still the “Fire!” from the tank and the missile had a good exploding and loud noise to it, and the gunshot sounds were too very impressive because of their realism.
Finally, content. Not much to say here really because graphics is where this flash is really at. I liked the little bit of interactivity in the flash but that was it really, but I’m not sure a whole flash is worth it for this and I don’t really appreciate you making a flash just showing us what you can do.
Overall, Great flash, great graphics, and animation, nice death animation of the characters, but it becomes a little repetative after a while, but you're no professional, this is great, and you did a great job with action script, swell flash sir, maybe next time make a cereal is a faggot inbredd cunt more, ewjicvojioj hi how are you, wait what am I talking about?

ShrimpLock responds:

Amazingly long review, and thanks a bunch for it.

[Drum Beater - Final]

A new innovative master piece!

This flash looks like it'll be a hit, a unique and fun way to create drumbeats, not to mention easy to use. Good graphics, good audio, good gameplay, it was a cool way to kill off time, your efforts were good and it offered some nice entertainment.

flash-flood01 responds:

thank you so much :O i didnt think it was THAT good, but hey, thanks

[PacMan Platform [old]]

A new outlook on an old game

Quite an original look on an old game, Pacman as a plat former!
It's nice to see that someone has finally taken Pacman out of his 'directional arrows' restricted world and placed him into a plat forming game, I think this is the first time I have been able to make Pacman jump over obstacles!
Graphics: They were alright, simple shading, traditional pacman look.
Sounds: were decent enough, I liked the fact that you included many sound effects such as the 'ugh' when you died and also a noise when you jumped every time. These small little things make a real difference to the game play because it gives it a lot more humor. You also included some sound effects from Mario which I was happy to see, but because this is a Pacman game I think you should actually be including sounds from that game, which to my knowledge you didn't.
Game play: is "Pacman Adventures" peak aspect though. While the game play was simple it was also fun, and easy to get the hang of. I would rather play a game like this than a game which is complex and frustrating to play. Like I said, I liked the fact that you had brought Pacman into the plat forming world and the game was fairly classical, fires to jump over, and gaps with an enemy in between to avoid. The "run and hide" game play was an extra little bonus too because it felt you'd added a bit of stealth to the game, though often it was near impossible to get to the hiding place in time because the enemy scrolled off the screen; and instead of scrolling around from the other end of the screen it started halfway, very annoying.
Overall: a nice fun game to take up my time, but not really something I can get into that much and definitely not something I would come back to after completing. Whilst the game play is simplistic it is also a little TOO simple and I think there should be more detail here sometimes the game play is a little too predictable.

knugen responds:

Thanks a lot for the review! I actually finished PacMan Platform 2 the other day and it turned out pretty good so I've sent it to ArmorGames,I will submit it to ng when I hear from them :)

[How to Make a Bad Flash]

tutorials are for whores with no talent in....

This didn't teach me shit, mostly because I already am the master and shitty flashes.

Frenzy responds:

Thanks for the 10

[Fight Me!]

I shitted myself.

I've never seen anything like this in all 6 years, it's very unique and very awsome, this is one of the coolest things i've seen in a while, good job sir, the guy was hot too, only suggestion is......is hmmm maybe redo the menu a little, instead of just inverting it and an overrall better layout for the hp. still this ws amazing.

Wonchop responds:

Meh, I don't really like the menu to overflash the actual game. ^^;

[So you think you know NG?]

this is different style to an old idea.

I like the whole lives feature, I've made quizes but I like this idea much better, the menu and screen were well done, but it could of looked a little better.maybe more newgrounds themed, it's overall good. If you like livecorpse check my movies out I did some with him, although "this" account was made after him.

ELFERRETO responds:

thankyou!, yeah i could have done it more newgroundsy style