Cereal's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Half-Life 2]

(title in work)

Ok, it was long. The drawings were about the best part about this whole movie. Honestly not much to say here.

You need to speak up next time you do voice overs. The fact that I could barely hear anything really didn't make me too interested in watching this movie. It seemed to move very slowly, which also just hastened me to close the window and stop watching.

[My Half-Life - #3]

(title in work)

Again, better than the first episode. You had a bunch of sound effects from Quake and Half-Life, which made this more interesting.

I don't really get the ending to this at all. Noob had more kills? But he got killed by spamtaro and then blew up Freeman once? Honestly it's very hard to follow the storyline of this movie.

[My Half Life - #2]

(title in work)

Well I think it was better than the first episode by quite a bit. You actually drew a character that looks like Gordon Freeman, which makes the movie seem more interesting to me. Better jokes and longer than the last. Much better.

Still the main thing would be the animations. Yours are pretty poorly done. I think you definitely need some more animating practice.

[My Half Life - #1]

(title in work)

I guess you could say that there was a good amount of detail in the drawings. The enemy guy looked pretty good.
This is really quite poorly made though. The animations were pretty lack luster, and the jokes just weren't very funny. I definitely hope that your next few episodes are better than this one.

[:Telekinetic Pornography]

mindlessly repetitive

You all either vote ten on it because your preteen angst results in a knee-jerk delusion to think this movie is genius because it has a character bitching about things you'd like to bitch about but don't have the audience or arrogance to do so, or you vote zero on it because it's seen as a monotonous drone repeated ad-nauseum for the benefit of the aforementioned bleating mascara-drenched sheep that think it's perfect because they love anything that hates everything. I fear the creator has either made like he has an obligation to appeal to this rambling mass, or he understands that no effort is expected of him, just make Foamy say mean things.

The characters have all now settled kindly into one character trait. Foamy is angry, and Germaine is a modest nymphomaniac who goes on about sex, is the butt of semen jokes, but never actually does anything. It's a dynamite formula for the the 12-15 demographic. Also, for some reason, Germaine's breasts expand when she moves them. For eight years, these movies have been all the same, a note held indefinitely in a song that was loud and sexual, and caused a great scream from the rabble. The song was alright at the beginning and wasn't even really about the tease, but many of us are getting bored of that note, and wish that the guy would get onto the next verse. It's called insightful and expressive, but it's simply pointing and laughing. You all see him as a voice for counterculture, mocking the preppies and bolstering your hip rage and contempt, but when you see a disclaimer asking you to not be offended, you should see that illwillpress has abandoned that ideal to get dumb fucks to buy his t-shirts.

Decent creative work needs content, not just attitude. Well-made movies deserving of high praise like Brackenwood and Ola Bergner are forced to share the limelight with this exhaustive, minimalist fluff, it makes me shudder for the creative direction of Newgrounds. I don't object to limited animation, but i object fiercely to limited idea. Invader Zim was a cartoon with similarly misanthropic subject matter, but it at least had a clever, expansive idea that it could build off of and play with; this is one character doing one thing that can't be built on. You people praise these movies for their spontaneity and quick wit, but you can train anyone to do anything by impulse if he does it exactly the same way for nearly a decade. Look up Ivan Pavlov if you don't believe me.

Describing bizarre sex acts and pretending to strip is not voyeuristic entertainment, it's just childish pandering. Any one of you talks like this in your head in your daily life, and you think that if it comes out of your mouth, suddenly you're an artist? Putting some kind of imaginative spin on it is where true creativity lies; illwillpress has skipped that step for a quick Daily award.

Though these movies will continue to garner blind praise from people with a shallow contempt for the norm, I like to think doing this for so long is rotting Jonathan Ian Mathers from the inside. He once had a good idea that consumed him. Eventually, he might try for ambition and really see the joy of exerting himself (more so than just making semen jokes), if he's not a pandering shill just out to stuff shelves at Hot Topic.

[TANKMEN .5]

Newgrounds marquee series

When Tankman first came out I ignored it and thought it was another passing fad for Newgrounds. I never gave it a chance. finally, when I did watch them I realized the new age was upon us, this flash went straight for the heart, ripped it out and kicked it around the floor for every minute it was on. Ng has long been one of the only place where thought-provoking social commentary can take place, unmolested by censorship. JohnnyUtah You have crafted a highly amusing cartoon that is always outrageous but also clever and original. Tankman is an intelligent, humorous and thought-provoking show that is often ignored or decried by people who judge it only by the very things it deliberately throws in their face, such as profanity, superb animation, and graphic violence, because JohnnuUtah knows that people like this are easily offended by these things, and will always miss the point. Tankman can be labeled as 'dumb humor' by those who have not watched the flash. On the contrary, Tankman delivers a contemporary, political, and current event oriented view of the society we live in. I respect and admire this movie. Frankly, I avoided seeing it for a long time, but now I a, glad I did. the movie is in fact a meditation on loneliness, greed, corruption, desperation, and the pervasiveness/banality of media, among many other things. The subtleties of the text are communicated, first and foremost, by superb voice acting ans character development. The performances of all the characters are all revelatory. In particular, I was knocked out by the rebelless smoking rascal, who is almost comically pathetic in the beginning, but who manages by the end to convey the character's utter devastation in the truest, most heartbreaking manner imaginable. The others are absolutely perfect as well. Basically, Tankman Is a Heavyweight, and will be immortalized into newgrounds history. All that view newgrounds should watch this flash, for it is the greatest thing to ever emerge.

[Mac vs PC Reaction Video]

Humorous

For my personal commentary. 2 girls 1 cup isn't that bad, there are plenty of worse scat fetish videos then that. It's weird that this one caught on. The torturous road of mac vs pc to the greedy fingers of an indifferent world makes this new wingflap movie one of the most powerful Action/Adventure/Dramas to come out of newgrounds in a long time. The perfect balance between entertainment and a thoughtful social commentary helps the center of the story to have a real heart and a palpable respect for us, the audience. lock opens a new door, introducing us to a character who is a first in his already extraordinary career. He startled us as a very young man with "thank heaven" before he fell with a serious case of mac vs pc. Now, after a three a long and serious Scorsese cures, this spectacular artist makes me believe that we haven't seen anything yet. Remarkable. As remarkable as the soulful lock who manages to give the flash a visible soul. I was moved and yes, I must admit, surprised. Apart from the visual and interpretative prowess of 2 girls 1 cup there is a realistic view of a third world country as shattering as the unforgettable without front paging.

[Let's Have A Party]

The classic tale of child actors

They all lose it after there first show, you are a prime example. I wasn't expecting much when I was going yo watch this, however this was the first time I actually considered leaving the theater in the middle of a film because it was so bad. The main issue about this film is originality. This movie is merely a re-shoot of all the films it parodies with different actors. There is no originality in the script, the writers seemed to just bundle a whole heap of scripts of the movies they were parodying together and added childish slapstick bits here and there along with repetitive MTV references that never varied. This made the film boring. The main parody of the film is was numma numma 2 (which failled). Those who have seen the film want to see a clever parody not to see every scene in the film re-enacted by terrible actors. If the movie had been any longer than 90 minutes I swear I could have shot myself. The film also recycles old jokes used in other terrible Friedman and Seltzerparodies. This joke was used in the abysmal Jem, as the biological family consisted of a black father, Indian mother,and white and Chinese daughters. This joke was not funny in either of the films. Not Only does the film recycle old jokes from previous parodies but also recycles jokes within the movie, Jayma Mays kicking the beaver wasn't funny the first time, so why do it again.There are no good scenes in this movie. I think I laughed at one joke within the first 5 or 10 minutes. The plot (if you could actually say there was one) was so stupid that it borders on the criminal. Anyone (actor, writer, director, or producer) should be jailed for 1 year for participating in the production of this film. I would provide spoilers for this movie, but that would mean there is something worth spoiling. I actually felt embarrassed for the actors. I had to leave after 30 minutes. For the first 20 minutes I thought to myself.. "this just can't be.. a movie that looks like it was filmed using one camera in a decorated high school auditorium".. "there's got to be a joke somewhere".. but alas, at the 30th minute, I could no longer justify wasting my life. The movie just never happened.

[Tom Front Page This]

skillful use of a truly gripping global issues

The torturous road of front page to the greedy fingers of an indifferent world makes this new breadfruit movie one of the most powerful Action/Adventure/Dramas to come out of newgrounds in a long time. The perfect balance between entertainment and a thoughtful social commentary helps the center of the story to have a real heart and a palpable respect for us, the audience. lock opens a new door, introducing us to a character who is a first in his already extraordinary career. He startled us as a very young man with "Shake your coconuts" before he fell with a serious case of front page. Now, after a three a long and serious Scorsese cures, this spectacular artist makes me believe that we haven't seen anything yet. Remarkable. As remarkable as the soulful lock who manages to give the flash a visible soul. I was moved and yes, I must admit, surprised. Apart from the visual and interpretative prowess of "tom front page this" there is a realistic view of a third world country as shattering as the unforgettable without front paging.

BreadFruitLock responds:

jesuus chriut just take me now# <3

[Nate and Cheese P1]

greatest to ever be made.

I have to say I played this after playing the sequel, and I think this is better!
Once again I LOVE those 3D graphics of the movie, the enemies didn't look so glamorous but the environments I thought FELT better, the environments in the sequel were pretty but you didn't build enough on this so they became bland. I felt like much more had gone into your surroundings this time as there were trees and lakes ect.
Sounds were better I thought, the music was louder so it was much easier to hear over all of the action and blasting going on, and you introduced an introductory tune when you started the level, when before it was silent, and then once you shot the first enemy the action suddenly began. And lastly in the sounds department I was very impressed with those extra little effects such as the sounds of the water running in the rivers alongside you.
But the gameplay is where I felt this game really shone next to the sequel. The action was much more fast paced this time around and in the sequel the action got pretty boring after a while. In this game you actually walked around over logs and such on rails whereas in the sequel you move along at a somewhat 'sluggish'. Not only this but the action itself was much more exciting as you got to not only throw blades at your enemy (causing a satisfying smashing effect which I was extremely impressed by) but you could also pick stuff up! After you kill a wave of enemies you were never short of guns to pick up I was pleased to see, the ability to pick up different guns and learn their different pros and cons of killing your enemies was a much more satisfying way of progressing along the game, in the sequel you seemed to ignore new guns which was a big disappointment. The cross hair I see was not included here, but that and the fast reloading because of the faster action makes the game much more challenging to beat; and not only will it take a while to beat but you will have a lot of fun and not get bored in doing so, the 'button-bashing' is not so obvious here because you have added different ways of enilating your opponent. You also have the waves of enemies toned down here and in the second one it seems that you just tried too hard to fit so many enemies in. I'd rather have a lot of the same enemies if the whole game moves a lot more smoothly along, like it does in this.
The only thing I would complain about is the fact you have to press 'w' when you want to pick a gun up - try and do this whilst your blasting at a hell lot of enemies and it's pretty much impossible.
Overall I am glad I played this only after the sequel of 'nate and cheese'; because it is the original of the two and certainly the best. The game moves along so much more fluently and in the sequel you seemed to have neglected and left out a lot of great ideas you had in here.

Show-R-Studios responds:

oh i see, this is one of those, automattic reviews, ok ok, cools